Batter Up
by FortunesRevolver
Summary: Souji's birthday has come around and Naoto has a special surprise planned for him... However, not everything goes as planned and things end up disastrously explosive... literally. SoujixNaoto SaoNao


I'm not completely sure where the idea for this story came from... I wrote it around midnight, so I assume that had something to do with the ah... _unique_ storyline of this story. ...Though I can hardly call it that at best. Regardless, I thank **_ToastedWhiskers_** for BETA reading this for me and **_Fiyerna_** for actually staying up with me until two in the morning when I finished it.

Of course the story is SoujixNaoto and it's already quite obvious that I don't own ATLUS... should you choose to believe I do, then... honestly, that is completely your own. **_ToastedWhiskers _**on the other hand... She is, of course, a spy for the company.

**ALSO:** I realize this must sound like a bizarre request but is anyone who is reading these stories interested in Role-playing someone from Persona? In particular Yukiko or Yosuke? I can explain much clearer if someone would be kind enough to PM me and I apologize if I come off as desperate, but I would be most grateful if someone stepped forward.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ you don't want any help, Naoto-sama?" Yakushiji asked uneasily as he lingered in the doorway of the kitchen in the Shirogane estate, watching Naoto nervously as she moved around the kitchen, pulling bowls and various ingredients from cabinets and the fridge. "I mean no offense, Naoto-sama, but perhaps because you've never done this before—let alone by yourself—I should help—"

"I'm quite alright, Yakushiji-san." Naoto interrupted as she pulled a carton of eggs from the fridge, opening it and examining them for a moment to ensure none of them were cracked. "It's hardly rocket science. If I can build a watch and make it not only flash but track its significant other, I'm quite confident I'll be able to do this without any trouble."

"Would you at least allow me to get you a—"

"I read one while I was at Junes last week. I committed the ingredients and instructions to memory. I should have no problem accomplishing this task… Besides, this is of great importance to me and I'd like to do it by myself."

"Naoto-sama, do you remember what happened the last time you told me you'd be alright on your own in here? The cookies? Your grandfather nearly--" Yakushiji fell silent instantly at the dark look he received from the sleuth, faltering as he gulped and stepped backward, laughing lightly. "U-um… I-I'll be in the study if you need anything then. H-have fun!" Bowing politely, the secretary turned on his heel and darted from the room, not wanting to stay to see what would happen to him should be continue to try and convince the sleuth that she needed help… or to be around when she realized she _did_ need the help. Sighing as he entered one of the large studies in the estate, the secretary settled himself into one of the chairs, slipping off his glasses as he started at the ceiling, a pained expression on his face.

"…I should have more faith. How poorly could it go? I'm sure… she's gotten better since her attempt four years ago." Silence, then… "I should get the fire department on stand-by." He muttered, pulling out his cell-phone. "...Perhaps poison control as well, just in case."

* * *

A sigh of frustration escaped pale lips as Naoto started at the various measuring cups and bowls in front of her. An unnaturally white hand reached up, running itself through dark-blue locks, leaving patches of white powder where it touched. The sleuth bit her lip, shifting uneasily from foot to foot as she looked down into one of the larger bowls, eying the oddly colored half-liquid, half-solid inside.

"At least… it's the right color." She reassured herself, picking the bowl up, slowly turning it in her hand, watching the contents swirl around, causing several powdery chunks to float to the surface, bobbing up and down several times before surfacing a final time. "…Perhaps it's better that I just start a second trial." Naoto muttered, emptying the contents of the bowl into the sink and turning on the water, wincing as she flicked the switch of the garbage disposal, causing an odd slurping noise to fill the kitchen as small droplets of batter flew out of the drain and landed amongst the many colored powders and bits of egg already covering her—once blue—dress shirt.

Making a mental note to change her clothes when she finished, the detective prince rinsed the bowl, cleaning it of all chunks, powders and sticky half-liquids before setting it on the counter and reaching for a measuring cup, frowning as she stared at the two paper bags in front of her. The frown increased as she reached for the slightly larger of the two bags, glancing at the other on the counter nervously.

"…Now was it two and three-fourths cups of flour or sugar?" Naoto paused, looking uneasy, "Or… was it the same amount?" Sighing, she shook her head, carefully measuring out two and three-fourth cups of the thick powder, twitching her nose as some of it rose into the hair, brushing over her face. "Although…" a thoughtful look fell upon her features, "…if I wanted it to be a three-layer cake… Logically, I'd simply triple that of the ingredients for a single-layer cake, correct?" The steady sound of the kitchen's clock was her only answer as she nodded to herself, answering her own questions as she happily measured out more flour into the bowl, repeating the process with the sugar.

"After that was… salt? It was three-quarter… tablespoons? Teaspoons?" The sleuth opened several drawers lining the counter, frowning when she couldn't find the proper measuring devices. "…I suppose a normal spoon would work." She concluded, opening the silverware drawer, "After all, something of this size must, at the very least, fall between the two sizes. Should the cake turn out to be too salty, I'll simply add less to the frosting. That should even out the flavoring." _I hope…_ she finished silently.

Staring at the silver spoon in her hand, Naoto shook her head, silently telling herself that she was simply being paranoid in the matter and grabbed the round container of salt, pouring the white crystals into the metal's cupped surface. Walking over to the bowl of dry powders, she dumped the salt in, tossing the spoon onto the counter as she grabbed the boxes of baking powder and soda, using the same spoon to measure them out as well.

"Now… for the wet ingredients… I needed…"

* * *

_Senpai,_

_I realize this is short notice, but I would be most grateful if you were to stop by my house later today. About three in the afternoon should suffice. I've something important I wish to give to you, and I would much rather avoid the crowd of our friends (while I hold nothing against them, there are three in particular that I wish to keep away from this) until I'm able to deliver the item in question to you personally.  
If you're unable to come, I understand completely, all I will need is a simply text message alerting me that I should time later to deliver the package to your house at a time of your convenience… Although, I do hope you're able to come. I would… very much like—if only a little—alone time with you today._

_Sincerely,  
Naoto_

Souji blinked, raising an eyebrow slowly as he stared at the screen of his laptop, leaning back in his black computer chair. A faint smile crossed his features as he read the letter several times, glancing at the calendar on his wall. _I never did tell her that today was…_ His thoughts trailed off as she shook his head, the smile broadening as he stood up, reaching for his phone. _It's only one now, if I leave now, I can stop by Junes and pick up something… new to wear. Yosuke should still be on his afternoon shift. I can ask him to help me out…_

Flipping the mobile open, Souji quickly typed out two messages, the first, to Naoto and the second to Yosuke, asking the brunette to meet him in the lobby of Junes in twenty minutes. Grabbing his jacket off the futon, he quickly hurried down the stairs, returning Nanako's warm hug as she wished him a happy birthday for what had to have been the sixteenth time that day, her smile as bright and warm as the first time she'd said it.

"Are you heading out, big bro?" She asked, tilting her head, looking up at Souji with curiosity. He nodded, unable to hold back the wide grin that spread across his face.

"I am, I probably won't be back until later tonight. I'm stopping by Junes before I head over to Naoto's house; she sent an e-mail asking me to stop by."

"Did she really?" Nanako's eyes widened slightly, looking surprised. "I didn't know she knew about your—"

"She doesn't," Souji shook his head, his smile faltering slightly. "I didn't want to burden her with it… Besides, I'd rather something just like this were to happen. Some time alone with her… It's all I'd really need. She'll have given me the best present she could without knowing it."

"…That's really weird, big bro." Souji laughed sheepishly as he walked towards the front door, waving his hand in the air as he slipped his shoes on. "I guess so, but I've never been what anyone would call 'normal'."

"Nope! Never." Nanako smiled cheerfully as Souji gave her an odd look, waving when he turned to leave. "Bye! Have fun! Try not to stay out too late scoring."

"W-what!?" Souji stopped halfway out the door, turning to look at Nanako, his mouth hanging open slightly. "W-where did you learn-!?"

Nanako giggled. "Teddie said that I should say that to you someday. He said your face would look really funny… and he was right!"

"…Teddie, huh? Right… right. I'll be back before dark." Shutting the door behind him, Souji sighed as he started down the street, giving a can on the road a dark look as he kicked it. _Note to self: Get Yosuke and kill the bear…_

* * *

"This… is becoming quite the conundrum." Naoto sighed, staring into the large mixing bowl again, frowning as she noted it to be an even more bizarre mixture of dry and wet then the last; unable to come up with a possible answer as to how it was logically possible for something to be so perfectly in-between a liquid and solid. She nibbled her lower lip again, wincing as she realized she'd chewed it raw over the course of a few hours, gingerly pressing a napkin to it as she felt something warm and sticky start to slide down her lip.

"…I suppose it's the best I'll be able to do. I don't have enough time to try again." Pushing the bowl to the side, Naoto began gathering up the various measuring devices and mixing implements, dropping them all into the large sink with a loud crash, making a note to wash them later. "Now… cake pan…"

Naoto walked around the kitchen, opening each cabinet in turn, searching for the needed device. A cry of triumph echoed in the kitchen as Naoto emerged from a closet on the far end of the room, holding several cake pans in her arms. _Now I just need to oil them and add the mix_. She lined the pans up on the table, grabbing a bottle of cooking spray she'd found before she started, giving each pan an even coat before capping it and setting it to the side, walking back over to the counter where her bowl of—what was supposed to be—batter sat, bubbling slightly.

"…Perhaps if I mixed it more?" She muttered to herself, poking at the slop with a wooden spoon. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to make much of a difference..." Silver-blue eyes slowly moved around the kitchen until they fell upon a large metal device on the corner of the counter, a wide grin appearing on the sleuth's face as she grabbed the bowl, quickly rushing over to the device, examining it with enthusiasm.

"Of course, a mixer. Yakushiji –san uses this all the time when he's making cookies, this should solve the problem of mixed states of matter in the mixture." Lifting the top of the mixer, Naoto slipped the bowl under the beaters, snapping the lid back down once it was in place. "Now… um…" The sleuth paused, giving the machine an odd look. "It can't be that hard, Naoto. You simply need to find the mechanism to turn the device on and allow it to smoothly and evenly mix the batter."

Taking a step back, the young detective surveyed the machine; half-hoping it might turn itself on and save her the ordeal of having to look for the switch herself. She sighed softly, shaking her head as she slowly began to put the remainder of the ingredients away, cursing under her breath as she realized just how long it was going to take her to clean all of this up. _At least… it looks as if it will taste alright. He shouldn't be expecting this at all… As long as he enjoys this, it will be worth every ounce of trouble this has become. _

Standing on the tips of her toes, Naoto pushed the sack of flour up onto It's shelf, gasping sharply when it began to tip forward, sighing in relief when it's movement stopped and it remained upon the shelf.

"That was—"

"Naoto-sama?" Naoto turned on her heel, jumping as another voice broke the silence of the kitchen.

"Y-Yakushiji-san! What are you—I said that I didn't want—"

"Naoto-sama, I'm not—it's just that, you do realize—"

"I'm perfectly aware of how long the cake will need in the oven until it is finished. I thank you for your persistent concern but I've already told you I don't require your help." The sleuth turned away again, returning her attention to the flour that was only half on its shelf, cursing as she realized she'd need to find a stool before it completed its journey south. "Now, if you'll please excuse yourself from the kitchen, I need to finish this before—"

"Hello? I apologize for barging in like this. One of the maids let me in and—Oh, good afternoon, Yakushiji-san. It's good to see you again."

"Ah, Seta-kun! We've been expecting you. Naoto-sama is—"

"Naoto!" Souji's tone took on a much happier tone as he noticed the detective in the kitchen. "How are y—why are you covered in flour?"

A startled yelp escaped Naoto's lips as she completely forgot about the flour, turning sharply eyes widening as stared at Souji in shock.

"W-what? Why are you-!?" Glancing at the clock on the wall, she screamed, eyes widening further as she quickly fell into a panicked frenzy, making both Souji and Yakushiji wince and start forward in attempts to calm her down. "I-it's already three!? B-but… How-? Ah! No! But it's not ready yet I-" Naoto stepped backward, a loud 'click' sounding, making all occupants of the kitchen stop as several things happened in quick succession.

Yakushiji, instantly knowing what was going to happen, dived behind the table, causing Souji to whip around, looking at Naoto in confusion. The blender behind the sleuth let out a loud buzzing noise as it roared into life, the beaters spinning rapidly causing Naoto to turn, eyes bulging as batter began to fly around the room. Souji jumped, not expecting a loud scream of surprised to sound from Naoto as she tried to protect herself from the onslaught of sticky goo shooting from the mixer. Something moved from above her head, unnoticed by the sleuth, but not by Souji. Silver eyes widened as they watched the bag of flour begin to sway dangerously, tipping towards the end, finally toppling over as a blob of goo connected with it, falling straight downward.

"Naoto!" Souji cried, dodging several batter bullets. "Look ou—" But it was too late. He winced as the bag of flour connected with Naoto's head and exploded, sending white powder everywhere that stuck to all that was hit with the batter… which was almost everything within ten yards of the mixer. There was another 'click' and all was still as Yakushiji stood next to the mixer, pale and panting, looking as if he was torn between worry for Naoto, screaming in annoyance, or fainting from the shock of it all.

"N-Naoto?" The silverette called uneasily, taking a step towards the sleuth, wincing as he heard his shoes connect with something wet on the floor, as if walking in a puddle. "Naoto? Are you—" He stopped as Naoto, very calmly, turned to face him, her face completely blank as she slowly raised her gaze to meet his, blinking once.

"…Good afternoon, Senpai. I… was just… making you a birthday cake. I'm… afraid it's going to be… slightly delayed."

Souji blinked, slowly taking in the detective's appearance. Her hair was almost completely white from the mass amount of flour that had stuck itself in her hair. Blobs of batter covered her from head to toe, mixed together with random splotches of flour that clung to the batter. His eyes moved from the top of her head, down to her feet, before slowly moving back upward, stopping at her face as a dark blush spread across his cheeks, a faint smile on his lips.

"Ah… Naoto, you've got batter—"

"…I'm aware, Senpai." Naoto muttered quietly, bowing her head. "…If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to clean myself off before I begin to clean the kitchen. I am truly sorry, but if you're willing to wait in the study for just a few minutes I—"

"—just here." Souji cut her off, tilting her chin upward as he pressed his lips against hers, effectively stopping her small ramble.

It took several seconds for Naoto's mind to catch up with what had just happened, and her body reacted faster than her mind was able to come up with a solution. Her arms wrapped themselves around Souji's neck as she leaned forward, pressing herself against Souji's chest, happily returning the gesture of affection as her eyes slipped shut, all previous annoyance with the situation completely gone.

"Happy birthday, Souji-kun…" Naoto smiled as Souji pulled back, chuckling.

"Thank you, Naoto." He wrapped his arms around her waist loosely, chuckling. "It's the best tasting cake I've ever had."

"I'm glad you like it," Naoto muttered softly. "But… Souji-kun…"

"Hm?"

"…You've got batter on your lips."

"Hm?" Souji frowned, his eyes crossing as he tried to look at the offending batter. "How did-?"

"I'll get it."

"Wh—mmgh…"

_Yes…_ Naoto thought as she tightened her arms around the other's neck, feeling the grip on her waist strengthen. _Most definitely… It was worth every ounce._


End file.
